stink.sack

Dear readers,

I try not to use this as a forum for some of my more explosive thoughts. I try to make this a place of serene reflection. But today I had an experience that was so insulting and outrageous that I just can't contain myself. I must speak out against the wrongs that are being perpetrated against the people of Los Angeles.

Michael Voltaggio of Top Chef "fame" will soon be opening a restarant very close to my home called ink. (the period is not a typo, it's actually part of the stupid name), and in preparation for that he's opened an establishment around the corner called ink.sack. I have so many complaints that I have a hard time knowing where to begin, they are all flooding into my mind.

First of all, I've been trying to go there since it opened, but the hours are not posted so I had to look for a pattern and I determined that it is only open for lunch on Monday through Saturday. Closed on Sundays, and on holidays. That's stupid business move #1. Then again, maybe I shouldn't criticize the limited hours of operation seeing how the line is so long on Saturdays that I would have to eat before I went defeating the purpose of my whole trip. Nevertheless, I've walked by several times and pressed my face against the glass to read the menu, and my mouth has literally watered. So today I made time at lunch to go over there.....Oh cruel world, why are you so filled with disappointment?

The first thing you see when walking up to the tiny storefront is a sign outside on the sidewalk that says "line forms here". Not even hand written, no pleasantry at all, and it's literally next to a velvet rope. Already I'm put off. No one being in the line though, I took the liberty of walking directly to the cash register. There's just a guy standing at a counter with a cash register like the corner liqueur store, which didn't bother me until I realized my main complaint so read on. I look up to see the menu and just see this guy staring at me, no hello or thank you for coming, just the blank stare, and then I step to the side to see the menu. People must do this all day and yet this guy still doesn't think to move to the side so a customer can read the menu. There's maybe 15 to 20 items on the whole menu and in all honesty each one is fascinating in its own way. So I ask Mr. better-door-than-a-window what his favorite is, and he says something but I can't hear him. That's when I realize that I can't hear or think anything because about 18" from my head there's an iPod dock on a shelf blasting music loud enough for the staff in back to hear. This guy must be made of saliva if he doesn't realize that no one can hear him because his voice is drowned out by the music coming from a source literally an arm's reach from him.

Wishing now that I lived in a different neighborhood so I would never have known about this place, and resisting the temptation to turn the f-ing music down myself, I lean in and ask him to repeat. Annoyed with me he says "turkey melt, and blah-ma-flama-blah." Only turkey melt was comprehensible, so that's what I ordered with a side of the crab cake potato chips. He rings me up at $9.79. That's nearly $10 for a sandwich and a bag of chips - no drink. OK fine, but it's gourmet so I can't say that I'm surprised.

I move to another part of the room and wait for my order. There are counters around the tiny room and two high pub style tables outside, but no low tables (the ADA would have something to say about that, so I'll leave it to them) and no stools, and NOT ONE SINGLE PLACE TO SIT ANYWHERE. I watch as orders placed after mine are picked up. I watch as a man is handed a very wet cucumber salad in a zip lock back and there are no forks anywhere and the staff offer no advice on how to eat it. Then finally my name is called. I'm handed my sack by another person who is afflicted with a disease that prohibits her from smiling or speaking. As I turn to walk away from the counter I notice that my sack is surprisingly light and so I open it and pull out the sandwich and this is when the most shocking, insulting slap in the face occurs. The sandwich is about the size of a Twinky.

Here's the deal people....I can handle not having a place to sit. I handle the unfriendly staff (who btw didn't mention that one is expected to eat more than one sandwich). I can even handle paying $10 to $20 for lunch with a side and a drink. And if the food is worth it, I'll even wait in line. What I can't take is all of that at once. A $10 meal should come with a beverage. A $15 meal should come with utensils and a place to site. A $20 meal should come with a server. No doubt the chef would argue that I'm getting better quality food, and I am willing to admit that the food is excellent, but it is done a disservice when the overall experience is almost torture. Not providing a friendly greeting or a place to sit down is like saying "You must suffer if you want to enjoy my tiny over priced food."

Michael Voltaggio I hate your sandwich shop. I will be telling everyone in the neighborhood that I hate it. And I will tell all my friends that I had better service and value at Subway. When your main restaurant opens I will go there once, but my expectations will be EXTREMELY low.

Alright, I'm sorry for my outburst. Now back to more to more positive content.

Yours Truly,
Jeremy

Gordon Ramsay at The London

I went to Gordon Ramsay at The London last night with some friends for dinner. It wasn't my first time there, but I thought I would tell you all about it since it's fresh in my mind. The interior is heavily decorated. It fits the theme of the hotel, but feels a little over the top. I actually liked it the first time I went for its novelty, but I tired of it quickly. There is too much polished brass, and the whole place is going to feel dated in about five minutes. I also noticed last night that they blocked an amazing city view by loading up the window sills with fake plants and decorative lamps with old lady lamp shades. They also kept a phony pitched ceiling that is obviously a hold over from the old Belage which gives a lot of the sapces a heavy feeling.

I have to say I like the service here. It's all business. The staff wear grey suits and have imprecable posture. They are very into their timing. Some of our party were about 20 minutes late and the hostess asked me about three times when they would be arriving. There was also a birthday in our party and at the end of the meal a waiter brought over a dish with a single scoop of sorbet with a candle in it. He set it down and said "I'm not going to sing." Frankly, I like some cold distance between me and the staff, but I could see it being VERY off putting to most other people.

I will give the place this.....the food is fabulous! Absoltely delicious. There is a small standard menu and then a tasting menu. The tasing menu is the way to go. You get three courses for about $65, and five courses for about $85. So why not go with the five courses, right? Here's what I had:

Fois Gras with French Toast, carmelized cherries and vanilla ice cream. It sounds bazarre but this was great; it had that sweet and savory thing going on.
Chilled Shrimp and Melon Gazpacho with Green Beans, and Avocado. Interestingly enough this was not a soup. It was more like a salad. It was very light and refreshing after the previous course.
Châteaubriand with Red Onion Marmalade, Mushrooms, and Potato Purée. See picture below. Honestly, I ordered my meat cooked medium, and it was well done. Other than that it was great.
Cheese plate. I'm not a big cheese person, so I couldn't tell you what kind of cheese it was.
Mango soufflet with a cream sauce, ice cream, and slices of mango. The mango flavour was not as prevelant as I had hoped, it was a little bland. That could have also have been because my pallet was tainted from the heavier dishes. There's a picture below of this as well.

All in all I would say try it out. I've liked it better with a table for two rather than a big group. The bar is a cool place to hang out too. They have a happy hour, but it's from 5 to7pm which doesn't give you much time to leave work and be able to spend some quality time, but at least at they give you a discount on parking.

The Spotlight Room

On Saturday night some friends invited me to join them at The Spotlight Room in Hollywood because on Monday it would be CLOSING FOR GOOD! Of course I joined them for the send off, it's practically a historic landmark. Spotlight opened in 1963 and was the first gay bar in Los Angeles. At the time it served as a venue for young hustlers to meet their benefactors, but also as a meeting place for people down on their luck and down in the dumps. All the reviews online poke fun at the neglected decor, but speak warmly about the friendly attitudes, and cheap drinks. (It's the exact opposite review that I would give most of the bars that have opened since my generation came of age.) Dig deeper and you will find many recounts by patrons who came to The Spotlight in the 60's, 70's, and 80's having recently moved to LA, needing a helping hand, and actually finding it there.


The best description that I found of The Spotlight Room was in a comment posted on losanjealous.com about a trip there in 2006 (I've edited it for length): "Anyone that’s been dragged into one of these Cahuenga Corridor bars with 3 letter names (you know who I mean XES and LAX…!) only to find uninspired pole dancing... and wilmer valderamma running amok…anyone who’s ordered a beer and a well vodka and tonic and had the barkeep tell you, you owe him $26.00... will be happy to know there’s a bar where the drinks are still ridiculously cheap, the jukebox is bizarre and the entire place is friendly. When you step outside to have a smoke, you can watch all the nonsense going on in Lohanville…  Backup dancers, Johnny Hollywoods and it-girls still clomp up and down the street going to the hot club du jour while you smoke with fellow Spotlight patrons who will lean against the wall and watch the spectacle with you. At the end of the night, you’ll have change from your $20, offers to go to church, someone’s myspace page addy and a new understanding of why they have to lock the women’s room here. Completely fun and enlightening!"


I myself frequented The Spotlight Room in 2001 to 2003 when I took several courses at the satellite campus that my college had around the corner. I can vouch for the cheap drinks, dreary decor, and warm welcome that every other review mentions. One early evening on a Wednesday I walked over there with my friend John and we were greeted by a transsexual who offered us each a bowl of chili. Low and behold, Wednesday is chili night at The Spotlight room! The chili was by no means gourmet, but the gesture was deeply sincere. 


The fact that the oldest gay bar in LA can close with so little circumstance says something about how far things have come in terms of gay people being accepted into society at large. Or maybe it just says that with the advent of the internet closeted gay men can seek out sex on the down low from home instead of skulking around in seedy bars. Rumor has it that the building the bar is in was bought by a developer who will be turning it into a boutique hotel, which was inevitable for that location; the whole area is being wrestled out of its blighted old glory filth. As with any change, I'm resistant and clinging to things past, but at the same time trying to keep an open mind and be optimistic. I'm sorry to see such an old establishment drift off into the night, but I suppose without change our lives would be dull. On Saturday I raised a Pabst Blue Ribbon to an old drinking buddy and said my farewells. If you are as nostalgic as I am, you might want to drop by today and do the same.

Arrow Swim Club

Check out this post on a new hot spot in Philadelphia. This is the Arrow Swim Club. It's 21 and over, and has a number of recreational amenities as well and food and beverage service. SL Design did a great job with it. 

For your late summer afternoon enjoyment, here are some pictures of my balcony. This is one of the first areas of my house that I "decorated". I really wanted it as a retreat. Apartment living feels so much less claustrophobic when you have a little outdoor space of your own. I should be out there today reading a book instead of inside avoiding house work.

Yes, I put a vintage chandelier outdoors. I live dangerously.

Even Jake wants to be outside today. 

Plants. All succulents. Mostly grown from cuttings. 

Succulents are really easy to maintain, and there's a huge variety of them.

Long overdue....

Those of you who know me know that last year I remodeled the bathroom in my place. Last month the final piece - the shower door - came in. Here are some pictures of the results....

And here are the before pictures in case you're REALLY curious....



Zombie Proof House

Thursdays are so boring. I think Thursday might be my least favorite day of the week. I guess boredom is what has me looking up things like this.